Brittany Murphy Before & after

i'm back!

well i had a pretty busy week, boring but busy... didn't do much!
bout my diet well not too bad, i fast like two days this week, & my kcal intake hasn't gone higher than 900 kcal. Not too bad but not how it's supposed to be... anyway, tomorrow starts the Weight loss competition! yayy :D:D:D:D wish me luck!
though i still don't understand how it's gunna work, i asked farah some questions, hope she answers! :D

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damnn i thought i had consumed only 500 cal - NOT! i just counted them & i consumed 650 cal!! ugh, it's not that much but still! i screwed up... so yeah today won't count, but still tomorrow i'll fast. Anyway byebye xoxo matilda.

Weight loss competition!

k so Farah (http://iwillbeasize0.blogspot.com/) made this blog (http://weightlosscomp.blogspot.com). It's a competition & i'm sooo in!! :D i'm thrilled! hehe
i'm in the orange team :) hope it all goes good!

Daily points
- under max intake: +10 points
- over max intake: -10 points
- exercise: +1 pt/15 mins (15 max)
- water: +1 pt/glass (8 max)
- binging: -5 pt/incident
- purging: -2 pt/incident
- encouraging teammates: +1 pt/teammate (5 max)
- reached goal weight for the week +5 points
- didn't reach goal weight for the week +2 points

Apart from that i'm also EFFIN' happy! :D:D cuz yesterday i fast & today i'm starting for real the ABC diet... so far so good! It almos 5pm & i've only eaten an apple & lettuce & spinach salad! oh yeah & tons of water! :D:D:D feel soo good!! wish me luck for the rest of the day! :D haha um anyway... yeah thats it for now ... xoxo, matilda

4 am haven't slept at all

i just finished watching "Sharing the secret" & i really liked it. It's a movie about a girl who's got bulimia. I could relate in so many ways with her... anyway, i wanna know more about anorexia; so on thursday first thing i'll do is go to the library & see what books i can find :).

i haven't been "good" actually i've been feeling pretty SHITTY. I hate myself soo bad! i haven't weigh cause i'm just too scared to do it... today i was watching myself on the mirror & noticed how BIG my arms are, like omgosh they are FAT & disgusting i hattttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeee myself so bad! i'm an ugly fatass!!! :'( i'm so depressed, yesterday i only drank a glass of orange juice & felt really good. But today me & some friends went to the movies & i ate a HUGE bowl of sweet popcorn, & when we got back my friends ordered some pizza & omgosh i couldn't resist & i ate loads :'(. I feel awful!!!! i'm so STUPID! why can't i control myself! like it's a vicious cicle... binge binge fast binge fast fast binge purge binge purge fast........ i just wanna fast fast fast fast fast... but NOO i'm so weak! i'm so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well gotta go drown in my weakness & pain... FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thinspiration

hmmm which one would you rather be?

sick!

Ugh i'm sick! Today i was feeling dizzy i wanted to puke & now my tummy aches... mayb i got milk allergy... i dunno, hope not! um anyway! In about a month my friend's gonna throw this HUGE party, i'm really looking forward to it!! & I'd like to have lost at least 6 kilos by then, so i'll be 57 kilos. OMGosh i've got to do it! i know i can! yesss i believe in myself, yes yes i DO!!! :D

When the world says, "Give up,"

Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."